Vulnerability is…

One of my favorite podcasts is Brené Brown’s Dare to Lead.  At the end of every episode, she asks her guests a series of rapid fire questions. The first one is always a fill-in-the blank: Vulnerability is ______.

I have an answer.  Vulnerability is writing; an even greater vulnerability is sharing your writing with others

Brené Brown defines vulnerability as anything that involves “uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure”.  After publishing this blog, I can definitely say that it involves uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure.  There is uncertainty in how people may react to your writing; there is risk of failure and risk of success.  Because my writing is personal, there is a risk of exposing yourself to others.  None of that sounds fun.

The vulnerability of writing is one of my first learnings as I start this blog.  It would be so easy for me to sit down and have an open and honest conversation with you about the same topic, so what makes writing different?  My best thinking so far is:

1. There is a permanence to writing that doesn’t exist the same way in dialogue.
2. When writing, you have much less visibility into how someone receives your communication.  There are no opportunities to clarify meaning or check for understanding.

If I break it down, the writing part came much easier to me than the making-it-public part. Surprisingly, asking my husband to read it was harder than putting it on social media. If you have met my husband, you know that I have no bigger cheerleader and supporter. He is not judgemental and never discourages me, yet there was still a fear of how he might respond and what he might think that I found unsettling. Of course, it was completely unfounded, but it still didn’t stop the fear from coming to the surface.

What I haven’t shared is what she shares about the other side of vulnerability.  Brené goes on to say that, “vulnerability is also the birthplace of joy, belonging, creativity, authenticity, and love.”  It’s the essence of human connection.

I appreciate all of you who have sent words of encouragement and support for my writing.  I will find the courage to be vulnerable because what I want most in my life is more joy, deeper love, a greater sense of belonging, and enhanced creativity.  Even when vulnerability feels hard, it is still easier to be one authentic person, living in integrity with your values, than it is to wear a million personas to fit the moment.

Time for personal reflection:  Where are you letting the fear of vulnerability get in the way and how is that holding you back from the things you want most in your life?  What is one small step you can take today to change that?