After the post, “The Gift You Have to Give the World”, one reader responded and was curious about how the gifts they have came to them and how their gifts become distributed. In this post, we will focus on how our gifts come to us. Is it through luck, privilege, or a choice of our own? I love questions that make you think, and these questions caused me to reflect on my own gifts. My personal experience would suggest there is a mix of nature, nurture, and a choice to develop that gift
I credit Montessori education and my grandmother with instilling a fundamental love of learning. I was two when I started going to Montessori school, so I don’t know how things might have been different without those early influences. Montessori education is a very student-directed approach to learning. I can remember sitting with my teacher and developing my own learning goals as a 6-, 7-, and 8-year-old, and then spending the week working to accomplish those goals. I could learn at my pace and prioritize working in areas where I had the strongest interest and motivation while maintaining personal accountability for my results.
I left the Montessori school in the 3rd grade and entered a more traditional education model. If you knew me in third grade, it would be hard to reconcile that student with the learner I am today. I was struggling academically. I felt bound by the structure of fixed subjects on a regimented schedule and a mandated curriculum. I was no longer able to have autonomy over my work and where I wanted to focus my learning, and my grades suffered dramatically.
Did I become less intelligent that summer? No. I was still the same person with the same level of aptitude. The only thing that changed was the environment. I no longer had any control in choosing what, when, and how I was learning. Learning became a forced march that had to fit nicely in predetermined boxes of Math at 8 am and English at 9. How well you were mastering a concept mattered less than making sure the box was checked on the required material.
Our environment has such a powerful influence over how we show up in the world. I went from being a “good” student to making Ds and Fs. What effect would it have had on me if someone told me at that time “You are not a good student” or made a judgment about my ability to learn?
Although my grandmother did not know about concepts like growth mindset, she always believed in my ability to learn. Almost every weekend during elementary school, I would travel to my grandparents’ home which was a 3-hour trip each way. To keep me occupied, my grandmother would play spelling games, I Spy, or make a game out of multiplication and long division problems. When they became too easy, I would ask her to make them harder. This wasn’t related to a required assignment; she made learning fun.
These experiences continue to impact my life as an adult. As a learning and development professional, I see intellect and learning as two separate concepts. Regardless of innate aptitudes and talents, I fundamentally believe we all have the capability to learn and get better at anything if we are willing to put forth effort. It spurs me personally in my own growth and development, and it fuels my ability to see untapped potential in others – even before they can see it in themselves.
The gift of writing is that it also allows me time to process my own thinking and generate new insights. Until I wrote this post, I never made the connection between my strong need for autonomy in my work today and my early days in Montessori education. To this day, my level of engagement in anything I am doing (including learning) is a direct correlation to how much choice or control I have in charting the path.
What is the origin of our gifts? Do we all have certain things that come more naturally for us? Absolutely. Does our environment play a role in what gets cultivated? Undoubtedly. Do we all have a responsibility to own our gifts and develop them? A resounding yes!
Time for personal reflection: Would you describe your gifts as a matter of nature or nurture? What experiences have shaped the development of your gifts? What gets in the way of you fully owning your gifts and sharing them with the world?
I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments. Next week, we will explore the second part of the question about how our gifts get distributed to others. Subscribe and stay tuned.
